I am definitely starting to miss my little sniper, it is so terribly quite without her around.
At this rate I’m going to have to start doing my own dirty work, and that does not sit well with me at all.
Right, sorry about that boss, but everything is taken care of now. The people you wanted me to shoot have been shot and all that. Though I may need you to help me with a couple of broken fingers… You remember what happened when I tried to set them myself last time. Possibly I shouldn’t have punched that bloke in the face quite so many times, but he was a fucking mouthy prat so he was asking for it, really. And there’s nothing like a good old fashioned bar brawl to break up the monotony of a dull business trip, eh?
And I might have maybe missed you too.
Sabrina, darling, it’s lovely to see you. The flat is so quiet without the tiny pitter patter of your combat boots, I may have had to blow up a Chemist in your absence. I was really painfully bored, and you know how I get when I’m bored.
You’ve broken your fingers again? I’ve no doubt the bastard had it coming, but you really should be more careful, Pet, how on earth are you going to fire a rifle if you keep ruining your hands? But of course Mummy will get you all fixed up.
By the way, sweetness, I got those guns you wanted, they’re on your bed, all wrapped up and waiting for you. They weren’t easy to find, I might have poisoned a man to get them for you, but I am a woman of my word, and besides it kept me in practice … and you should have seen his face, it was hilarious.
Oh, I can’t wait to show you my new toy that I picked up while you were gone. Stole it right out from underneath the nose of the eldest Holmes sister, honestly, I am saddened by the state of Britain’s national security. I literally walked right into MI-6 and took it. It’s the cutest little weapon of mass destruction I’ve ever seen, and I believe that you and I, my darling, ought to take it out and paint the town red.
You poisoned someone for me, boss? How sweet of you. This is excellent, please tell me you have some people for me to shoot, I need to try these guns out like, now. Even if there’s no one who needs to be shot, exactly, we could always just go up on the roof of that skyscraper and pick random targets, like we did that one night. That was fun.
And what exactly is this “little” weapon you’ve gone and stolen? Should I be worried? Oh who am I kidding, I always bloody worry about you and your insane plans. Though I don’t know what it says about me that I always go along with them.
Christ, I need cigarettes. Do you want anything while I’m out?
Of course I poisoned someone for you, Pet. Did you ever doubt I would? Like I haven’t killed someone for you before, I just won’t do anything that would get on the Westwood… and I taped it, he made the most hysterical noises you’ve ever heard. I’m thinking of making it my ringtone.
Oooooh, it’s been ages since we just went up to the roof, hasn’t it? I think that sounds like the best date night ever darling, I’ll get a bottle of wine and I can point out fashion victims to you. I swear with some of the things people are wearing these days they simply need killing.
Oh Moran, you’re going to love this new toy. It’s the best, I’m so excited. And you really shouldn’t worry darling, it’s not like I would ever use it on you, you know how fond of you I am. So my new toy, you’re going to love this, it can either inject toxins directly into a person’s system, or be used to release the same toxin into the atmosphere and take out a whole stadium of boring little idiots.
And it’s so adorable and compact and goes so sweetly with these new shoes I just bought.
Going out already love? Be back soon, we have date night after all. And since you’re offering, Mummy could use some Jammy Dodgers.